The end of this chapter.

So this blog was started for a writing class but it has changed my view of how I write. I was able to express my feelings, stresses and my life. I honestly thought these stories were only reserved for my journal. I am glad I was made to do this assignment because with blogging I was able to express things many people were actually interested in. So that being said I will not stop blogging. Now that I started to get a following of people who were not in my class it feels that the world is a little smaller. Now I am ready to do this a little more and still make this a weekly requirement. I am know in writers block because I am not really sure what to blog next. Then I realized not only this is the end of my class but my freshman year. I will be in my second year of College. I have so many lessons that I learned as a freshman. The first one is that everything is a balance. Yeah I am here for an education but I am here to grow as well. So now being more involved and feeling like I belong here I am ready to take the challenges of my second year but failing is ok. That is why my blog is here. Thank you for keeping an open space and likening my page. See you next week.

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My home’s.

Home has never been a single place for me because I have to moved a lot in my life for a verity of reasons. Although, saying home is now more confusing than ever because now I have the first world privilege of having more than one home. My family, originally from Guatemala, left their only home because of discrimination of being Mayan. At the time the government wanted their homeland for agriculture and this caused civiI war.I was born after the civil war that left many of my people with nothing but the clothes on their backs.So when one is faced with the life poverty many are left with the only choice of immigrating to “better country”. So I left my first home,even though I do not remember, for a new home. I grew up in Oakland,California for most of my child hood but when whenever you arrived my small apparent you could see,smell, and hear Guatemala. So it felt like I never left my home even though I was thousands of miles away. However, now in college when people ask me “are you going home” I have to ask “which one”.The problem arises of where is my home? For now it is my five person person apartment in Santa Cruz but on holidays it is my five person apartment in Oakland. I am glad to go home this weekend to celebrate Mother’s Day, my baby brothers second birthday and see my grandfather who is visiting form Guatemala for the first time. I learned that no matter what you call home for me it is not a place you go for shelter but the memories you create that have a deeper meaning that make you feel at peace, belonging and love. In the end that is all that matters to me and I am very grateful to have this privilege in my life.

I Love…

How many times have you said the word love today? What do you love?I have list that can go on forever that I can say “I love” this or that but in this video this poet speaks about doing a very simple task of looking at yourself in the mirror and saying a very simple phrase ” I Love You”.  The word love is not difficult to say but the “you”,taking  her one year to finally truthfully accept herself and say those simple words. It is hard to understand why as humans who are compassionate and caring toward others are not able to do that for themselves. It is because we are taught a very young age not to be selfish and vain or society telling us we need change every  feature of ourselves that looks different until we look like the images that are persevered as acceptable. But is it such a crime to want to appreciate yourself when you know you have a million flaws.  She does make the point of if you can say those words to others or things how can you love be true if you do not love yourself? Love needs a source. The best way to describe this is her metaphor of the tree. As she said the tree needs base in the roots in order to grow. Although in order to grow in needs a seed and if that seed is not plated then it can’t grow. As I watched this video I was eating up every word she said as if they were like fresh cookies baked out of the oven until I reached the very end and I had to face the truth. It took her one year to say one simple phrase that most of us say everyday to our family,friends or even food-especially food- but most people were unable to say to themselves. I looked in the mirror and I realized that this is not the girl I feel in love with one year ago. No, this was a girl is lost, stressed and unconventional. Then that is when I realized that my tree needed water,sun and of course love because I am not the same girl anymore.  I needed to find myself again in this crazy new forest called college(My campus is in fact in the middle of the forest) . I don’t love myself but I am willing to get to know who this new girl is. I can all ready tell this is new girl is worth falling in love with
and will turn into a beautiful relationship.  It just starts with a simple “Hello”.